Creating sympathetic characters is essentially Creative Writing 101. A reader needs to have a sympathetic connection with a character to care about what happens with him or her. “Sympathy” in this instance is understanding, not pity.

Characters can be entirely unlikeable so long as the reader can understand them and see why they make the choices that they make. As you say, the idiot heroine who is nothing more than a plot device is utterly unsympathetic, because we as readers realise she’s just a fucking idiot, so we don’t care, because we don’t sympathise with her.

Tony Soprano is unlikeable, but he is thoroughly sympathetic. We understand why he does what he does, we empathise with the choices he makes because we can see the life he’s in and how it sometimes forces his hand (or he thinks it does).

You’re completely right to be unconvinced, because it’s erroneous. Write believable characters, but don’t worry about whether they are likeable

And yes, there are many layers to DD beyond just the cookies and computer thing. But I think that is true for anything that is only practiced by a minority.

I really oughta do a spanking entry. This has me thinking.

You may or may not be interested in this article I wrote regarding punishments within DD. It’s likely you won’t agree, but it’s interesting to see what you think.

Using Tiffany’s Nora as an example, in The Angel she introduces us to Suzanne, a reporter bent on finding out the “truth” behind Soren and his church. She’s certain there’s something *bad* going on, given the reputation of the Catholic church in general. She walks the moral high ground. She’s the complete opposite of Nora. But I couldn’t stand her. Could I name a reason why? Not really, other than she was just boring. Give me a twisted, morally corrupt character any day.

I think the trick is creating a character that’s sympathetic, instead of merely likable. However, there does seem to be a cult-of-likability in romance–same with chick lit and women’s memoirs. Likewise, if we look at Carmella Soprano, Skylar White, or Betty Draper, a portion of the audience is way, WAY more judgmental about them than their husbands, even if their husbands are much more serious “sinners.”

I still like Nora Sutherlin about a million times more than a Sweet Damsel in Distress. I like Scarlet more than Melanie.

I mean, really, Melanie Wilkes. Would anyone really want to read ten years in the life of Melanie Wilkes?