Check out Spreadsheets, a punny new app that…
*Sighs.*
I don’t even know.
It spies on your sexy times.
See how loud it really gets!
Spreadsheets does not record or playback your session. That would be creepy.
YA THINK?!
So, it measures how long and how loud.
And how many thrusts.
How did this thing make it over the adult content hurdle in the Apple Store?
How do you Spreadsheets?
Find out just how long you really last.
Keep a record of your average, peak, and aggregate performance. Let the facts speak for themselves
But…
Why?
What would these “facts” even really say?
That you have a statistics fetish?
That you aren’t comfortable performing tasks that aren’t part of a metrics portfolio?
I can’t…
*Sighs.*
Only the people you share it with. Share it with your doctor if you’re trying to get pregnant. Share it with your nutritionist since you’re burning calories. Share it with your friends and let the facts speak for themselves.
OH MY GOD.
PLEASE DON’T TELL ME ABOUT YOUR THRUST COUNT, PEOPLE.
All those workouts you’ve recorded on Facebook? I blocked them. I promise.
I am really not even sure that loud, long and thrusty is any guarantee for success.
