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Tag Archives: funny

You are Somebody’s Reason to Masturbate

I found this on tumblr: It never hurts to have an go-to personal affirmation. I actually truly believe this one, too. Someone, somewhere out there, has fapped to you. Or, some ghost of you. Some flash half-remembered. Oh, yes.

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Derp in the Wire

Him 1:00 pm: Him 1:01 pm: today I’m going to require something of you. Joan 1:12 pm: as long as it’s not rick santorum related Him 1:12 pm: ok. scratch that then. nevermind. Him 1:15 pm: I was going to have you masturbate with rick santorum. Joan 1:15 pm: damn Him 1:15 pm: Guess […]

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Words for Down There


One of the goofier things about Fifty Shades of Gray is the euphemisms.  She uses “down there.” Down. There. There’s an anal sex scene that manages to never reference an ass or an anus. Hence, The Generator: Leaving my panties sunny side up on the floor was the least of my worries as his timed slimer slid […]

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