Linda: i have random totally unimportant self involved news. would you like to participate in my narcissism?
Joan: um. okay.
Linda: i know you are sitting there thinking “she is so fucking WEIRD”
Joan: actually, i am reading about ginormous schlong. you interrupted.
Linda: seriously? LINK.
Joan: YES. Seriously. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/16/jonah-falcon-largest-penis-frisked-by-tsa_n_1675767.html
Linda: omg. you one upped me! i want to fuck him just to know what it would be like. Penis Mount Everest
Joan: i would be afraid of that peen
Linda: really? i’d just lube it up and go!
Joan: cervical bruising
Linda: oh. yeah, that might be a problem. my ex husband was 9″ erect, and it was too much. i like a normal sized penis really in all honestly, but i just would want to say I fucked the largest penis on record
Joan: yeah, i suppose there are bragging rights.
Linda: although, who could i really tell? LOL!
Joan: biggest dude i was ever with? it was too big. i almost felt bad for him.
Linda: i was with a guy like that too. he was honestly. HONESTLY. 11″ I measured. it was ridiculous.
Joan: yeah, i’m all… how do you not pass out? there was a dude we used to know. ex dh’s former roommate. the rumor was that he had gigantor dick. he was in a porn that some other dudes we knew had seen, wearing a long, blonde wig. it was second-hand confirmed dick
Linda: *snort*
Joan: and my sister and my gay roommate are all, BETWEEN THE TWO OF US WE WILL SEE THIS PEEN.
Linda: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joan: like, they had their bases covered. The pact was in place.
Linda: i am dying over here
Joan: and so, eventually, with the right party situation, my sister succeeds in getting him naked and erect. and this is like 5 am
Linda: omg
Joan: Then she comes downstairs at the crack of dawn, half-dressed, yelling up the stairs, YOU ARE NOT GETTING ANYWHERE NEAR ME WITH THAT THING!
Linda: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Joan: she tells the gay roommate, I HAVE SEEN THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN, BEAVIS. and then we had to leave.
Priapus
4 Comments
It’s not nice to make people giggle and draw attention to themselves.
My work here is done.
My man is like an inch too much for me in all of my openings. Rather frustrating actually. Whenever he goes in all the way it bangs into something and hurts.
You know, in Penis Real Estate, an inch is quite a lot.
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